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lagore
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 11-03-2009 Location:
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posted on 11-03-2009 at 17:04 |
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Hello everyone...
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm a 20 year old virgin male, and I don't feel to good right now...
I feel bad because I desperately want to be with someone, but I only want to be with another virgin. And I have a stricter definition of virginity than most people. I mean... not just intercourse but also oral sex, manual sex (handjobs or fingering), mutual masturbation, and all that stuff counts as sex to me. Masturbation is fine though, hehe.
Needless to say, I feel like the only person left on earth who hasn't done this stuff. Literally, I don't think I know a single person at any of my schools or jobs that fits the bill. Except me, of course...
Whenever I tell people this, they think I'm judgmental or a freak or mean or stupid or crazy or whatever. Even here, I feel like I'm alone in my opinions.
I just don't know what to do... I feel like I'll never find anyone, and I'll just be so lonely for the rest of my life.
*sigh*
Thanks for reading...
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Kipling
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 10-30-2009 Location:
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posted on 11-10-2009 at 04:45 |
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lagore
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 11-03-2009 Location:
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posted on 11-11-2009 at 15:31 |
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reply
I don't wanna hear that!
I may not technically need love to be happy, but I want it... I think it would help, and I... I think I deserve it. I have so much love to give, and I just wanna pour my love and affection onto someone who will love me back. I don't wanna face the possibility of going my entire life without that. I'd feel like I was missing out on something so essential.
And it just makes me so sad... whenever I bring up stuff like this no on ever says "Oh, don't worry. You'll find someone who's right for you. There are plenty of girls like that." Everyone, EVERYONE thinks that there is no one left on earth like that. And that's heartbreaking to me. That the world has changed so much that there isn't anyone left who lives up to what I want. And to be honest, I don't think it's asking too much. I don't think it's some insane over-the-top request to want a partner who hasn't been sexually active with anyone else. What dos it say about society that there is apparently no one like that anymore who's past the age of... what? Fourteen?
Ugh... but there's gotta be someone like that left somewhere on earth. I hope.
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Rainbow
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 12-09-2009 Location:
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posted on 12-09-2009 at 12:58 |
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:)
I know exactly how you feel! I'd go as far as saying I'm in an even worse position than you are (lol):
- I'm a 23 year old woman
- I'm still a virgin (in the sense that you mentioned: never had any sorts of sex, never been kissed, held hands or whatever...never even had a boyfriend or been on a date)
- I also feel VERY strongly about only being with another virgin (someone who's never had any sorts of sex), just like you.
I get sooo much hassle from people...they tell me virginity means nothing, that I'll never find a guy who meets my criteria (and if I do, it'll be some "loser" (whatever that means). The worst hassle I get are actually from men. Those men who're interested in me, turn out to not be virgins and therefore get rejected. At first they're all like, "I really regret what I did, if I knew you existed I'd saved myself, it was first when I met you that I realized how important virginity is, I understand if you won't have anything to do with me, blahblahblah...doesn't my remorse mean anything to you?". Me: "not really, your virginity does". Then their mentality "surprisingly" changes: "why can't you just get over it?! It's just sex! There's something wrong with you, why can't you get over it?!". Yes, the fault lies in me 8). Because I actually care about who I give myself to, because I care about diseases (avoiding them!), because I care about the responsibilities that come with sex...
I can totally recognize your feelings...a lot of times I feel very lonely, too. Sometimes I feel like being a virgin --> being alone affects every part of my life; I'm not motivated to do much. I don't know what you can do because I'm still trying to find out myself. I just...talk to people who understand me somewhat. It helps to voice my worries about never finding someone, and it helps to be told, "of course you are going to!". Reality is...you and I are DEFINITELY not the only virgins in the world. If you look at the right places, you might meet other virgins...
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UKM22
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 12-08-2009 Location: UK
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posted on 12-29-2009 at 11:53 |
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Hi Rainbow
Hi Rainbow, I was in contact with you via your hotmail, but I'm not sure if it has stopped working or not. Can you reply here if it has stopped working and, could you send me a reply email too please. If your email is still working I'll stop contacting you.
Thanks.
w2003
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Parthena
Member
Posts: 57
Registered: 07-07-2007 Location: Greece
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posted on 01-25-2010 at 07:59 |
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How to find a virgin
Lagore - I can assure you there are PLENTY of women out there who are still virgins. They are not dumb, ugly or mentally handicapped either... Many women are just picky with who they share their bodies with; others have religious reasons; still others have strict upbringings. I know women and I know OF women who remained virgins until marriage. One of the most amazing stories I heard from my mother was of a 40-year-old woman who had never had a boyfriend and one day she met this amazing man who was middle-aged, widowed (I believe) and who was left alone with his millions of dollars and no wife... Well, they fell in love and got married and I can tell you, he must have felt like the luckiest man in the world to have found love a second time in his life ... and with a woman who had kept herself purely and ONLY for HIM!!!
On a personal note, I have not had any sort of sex because I simply have not met any man who has moved me enough to want to engage in it with him, upbringing and moral codes aside. Sometimes it is really that simple. I think you should be patient and not lose hope. If many of us can WAIT into our 30s and even 40s (and beyond !??), then it is not unreasonable for you to expect to find your virgin somewhere on this earth. Consider all possibilities and don't overlook the ones that don't seem obvious; sometimes it's the woman who doesn't seem 'virginish' that actually turns out to be one (ever seen American Beauty?).
Good luck! 
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lagore
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 11-03-2009 Location:
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posted on 01-25-2010 at 09:39 |
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Thankies!
Oh yeah. That's a really good movie. Kevin Spacey's always so good. Although he hasn't been in much lately...
Oh, but I'm rambling, hehe. I really appreciate hearing you say this.  Whenever I mention this, even to people I trust and who seem to like me, they get so upset with me. They think I'm all judgemental and mean and picky and crazy and stuff. >_<;;
I know I should probably try to get more comfortable with just finding someone I love regardless of their sexual experience. But still, for now, your post has made me feel a lot better. Thankies. :)
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Alsark
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 02-10-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-10-2010 at 23:22 |
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Yeah...
'Lagore - I can assure you there are PLENTY of women out there who are still virgins.'
I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I think that's a bit of an exaggeration (and saying a bit is an understatement). I've been on a "quest" to find pure girls for some time. There are very, very few of them left... and the ones I do find are younger than 18, so that's not really much of an option unless you want to be called a pedophile (even though you won't be engaging in sex, obviously). Unfortunately, most girls have lost their virginity by the time they're 18, so it's pretty difficult for us guys trying to find any good girls who are left. And then if you want to find a virgin who ALSO happens to share your interests and who you'd click with? Ha! Good luck... I met a nice, virgin girl a few months back and we got along SO well online... then when we met in-person she suddenly didn't like me anymore :/. I was devastated, because I was so sure that after SO many years of misery and waiting, God had finally given me a gift - God had finally repaid me for my many, many years of loneliness and hoping; but nope, He just wanted to give it to me and take it away within a couple of months just to make me even more miserable than I already was. Thanks, God, you're a real pal.
And no, I'm not religious, I'm Agnostic.
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lagore
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 11-03-2009 Location:
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posted on 02-10-2010 at 23:40 |
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Alsark:
Aww... don't feel bad Alsark. It is true that virgins are incredibly scarce nowadays... but I still think it'll happen! I know it's tough waiting, but it's just a matter of time. And the right girl is worth the wait, right? :D
Also: don't be fooled by my quick response. It just sends me an email when someone responds to a thread of mine. Normally it takes WEEKS for anyone to post here. This site is pretty much dead, it seems. Which is a shame, because there literally doesn't seem to be any other places like this...
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Alsark
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 02-10-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-11-2010 at 14:18 |
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.
'Aww... don't feel bad Alsark. It is true that virgins are incredibly scarce nowadays... but I still think it'll happen! I know it's tough waiting, but it's just a matter of time. And the right girl is worth the wait, right? :D
Also: don't be fooled by my quick response. It just sends me an email when someone responds to a thread of mine. Normally it takes WEEKS for anyone to post here. This site is pretty much dead, it seems. Which is a shame, because there literally doesn't seem to be any other places like this...'
Yeah, it's definitely worth the wait. I'd rather stay a virgin for life than be with somebody who has allowed their bodies to be defiled. However, with time, and with constant fruitless searching, I have decided to allow for an exception - the person can have had sex once, but only if it was in a very, very deep relationship where they thought they were going to get married (I also don't count rape as "having had sex", because I think virginity is more of a mental thing, not a physical one).
Yes, it does seem that the site is pretty well dead. And what makes me laugh is that the most popular section is about the people who want to lose their virginity. So it's not like most of the people who come here want to stay virgins - they just want to lose their virginity (or make fun of virgins) :/.
I have joined the Facebook groups "Abstinence", "Abstinence Until Marriage", and "Virgin". Those are also pretty dead, and probably about 15% of the people only join to insult the rest of the group, but meh. I like knowing there are others out there, however scarce they may be.
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cindycrawford
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 03-25-2010 Location:
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posted on 03-26-2010 at 13:11 |
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hyper sexually problem
Hello Everyone,
I am cindy a medical student, Just want to know what is the hyper sexually problem in women.
__________________________________
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friend4354
Member
Posts: 33
Registered: 10-14-2008 Location:
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posted on 05-13-2010 at 09:22 |
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Agreement
Glad to see a good thread that treats virginity seriously.
I have been waiting a long time to meet a woman with my same principles, that sex is for marriage only. Both enter into the marital relationship on equal footing if they had not had sex before. If only one had waited the stakes are much higher for that one person, and hurts the chances of the marriage of surviving. When both people have the same amount of very, but very, deep investment, you have a better chance of actually staying together until death. when you part.
Another issue is that there is an automatic disconnect if only one of the two is virgin. One does not understand the experience of waiting. For many of those who have posted on this thread and elsewhere, this is not an insignificant issue. Perhaps this can be overcome, but it does add an extra obstacle the couple has to overcome.
Of course, you can sell out, like some societies have done, but that leads to other issues.
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belpuzz
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 10-14-2010 Location:
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posted on 10-14-2010 at 12:54 |
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hi
Hi Lagor....just joined this forum and was just about to write the same words as you did...am 20 and virgin as well and feel exactly the same as you...any advice from anyone would be great
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