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nacho
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 03-28-2010 Location:
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posted on 03-28-2010 at 00:41 |
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25 year old female virgin, is that weird?
I'm a 25 year old female virgin. Completely by choice, I've had plenty of opportunities and a few boyfriends who have wanted to take it there. I've come close, but am definitely still a virgin. I've recently been told by some friends of mine that essentially "I'm too old to be a virgin" and "missed that boat" and that they didn't want to see me end up alone and have "my best interest in mind".
Needless to say, the people who are telling me I'm "behind" are not virgins, and mostly all of them have been male (if that makes any difference, I don’t know). Also, I'm not waiting for any real religious reason. I simply have followed my own moral code and am slow with slow with sexuality stuff. It makes me pretty anxious in general. And I'm worried now because my "friends" are telling me now that I'll never find a guy who will be patient enough to put up with waiting so long.
So my question is: does anybody know ANY guys out there who would be cool or even prefer dating virgins at 25 or older (who are not necessarily Chrisitan or religious)? I've never met a guy, or maybe it's just the people I know telling me this too...
I have people telling me to "just do it", "get it over with" But I honestly never had a problem with my virginity until people started making a big deal about it.
And now, I just feel really "not normal" or like a "freak" because I have not had sex yet. I just never saw why it's such a big deal to almost everybody, except me it seems.
P.S. I have a boyfriend now, and every time I start to get close to somebody, I get scared, and my relationships can't seem go father than like 2 mo. because either I am unconsciously "sabotaging" my relationship because I'm scared to take it to that 4th base so to speak or my boyfriend gets sick of waiting.
I'd appreciate any advice anyone has to offer or any insights you can give me. - thanks!
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PURE
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 03-29-2010 Location:
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posted on 03-29-2010 at 08:48 |
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20 yr old virgin
well i am living proof im 20 years old and still a virgin and just like you im not really religious. I don't know what to say how will i ever trust anyone that say they are virgin? same with you how will you know? Lately ive been seeing myself lonely forever but i think id rather that then to lose my virginity to a non virgin. I don't know why i am like this i cant explain it easily.
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friend4354
Member
Posts: 33
Registered: 10-14-2008 Location:
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posted on 04-28-2010 at 10:34 |
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Nothing wrong with you at all
Nacho,
You are perfectly normal in a society that has sold out. There are countless reasons to wait for marriage which we never hear about. We are only exposed to what a great, fun experience it is to have sex, without thinking about it much. Whenever you see marital sex on T.V. it is in a negative light. It is boring, only worthy of non-seriousness and jokes. You often see marital cheating on T.V., since marital sex is so boring.
Sex is a very deep, bonding experience. Biologically it leads to having a child. The recent developments of swallowing a chemical, having an abortive operation, or wearing a plastic garment over the most important parts has not changed our biology.
I know exactly how you feel, from my own life, what it is like to have personal morals, and having great doubts about who I date. I have gone out with many women but it always seems to fizzle out, because of this issue. I am waiting for marriage and it is difficult for me to square this with a woman who does not share this ideal.
I hope I have helped.
Friend
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nacho
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 03-28-2010 Location:
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posted on 04-29-2010 at 02:42 |
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reply
'Nacho,
You are perfectly normal in a society that has sold out. There are countless reasons to wait for marriage which we never hear about. We are only exposed to what a great, fun experience it is to have sex, without thinking about it much. Whenever you see marital sex on T.V. it is in a negative light. It is boring, only worthy of non-seriousness and jokes. You often see marital cheating on T.V., since marital sex is so boring.
Sex is a very deep, bonding experience. Biologically it leads to having a child. The recent developments of swallowing a chemical, having an abortive operation, or wearing a plastic garment over the most important parts has not changed our biology.
I know exactly how you feel, from my own life, what it is like to have personal morals, and having great doubts about who I date. I have gone out with many women but it always seems to fizzle out, because of this issue. I am waiting for marriage and it is difficult for me to square this with a woman who does not share this ideal.
I hope I have helped.
Friend'
thank you that helped a lot! i agree with your 1st whole paragraph! who is the oldest virgin you have known?
and are you waiting for any religious reason or just your own moral standards?
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friend4354
Member
Posts: 33
Registered: 10-14-2008 Location:
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posted on 05-06-2010 at 09:01 |
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Great
Hi Nacho.
I'm glad to have helped. You might check out the following:
http://www.sloppynoodle.com/wp/subversive-virginity-by-sarah-hinlicky/
http://www.forgottenvirtue.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Abstinent_Singles/
You might notice that the first article has a note at the end that says that the author is tired of all the marriage proposals (!). Virginity sparks secret admiration in many. The article explains why we are so desirable. What is frustrating and saddening is that society has such a contrary morality, any debate is quickly and passionately dismissed.
Although people I know do not go around advertising their virginity, I know of several who are much older than you, me being one of them. It is a difficult balancing act seeking a lifelong formal partner with your same morality, while concealing such an intimate thing from the world. It would be a big risk to make it known to your circle of acquaintances and friends of your strong moral beliefs on this issue.
I remain virgin until marriage for my personal morals. I have had many chances with many very good looking women, but the answer is always no, you are not my wife. Again, there are many good reasons for this attitude, which you can read about in the above links.
There are many famous people today and in history who waited. Isaac Newton, considered by many to be the best scientist ever, for example. An all-star basketball player is another.
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