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findsomethingelse
Newbie
Posts: 0
Registered: 12-10-2014 Location:
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posted on 12-10-2014 at 08:17 |
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Maybe your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
I married a lovely Russian lady 15 years my junior, 4 years ago after going to Russia to meet her and her family. We met via the internet and she struck me as quite different from others - not materialistic, there were genuine family photos, not studio poses, she sounded sincere, loving and she was seeking a partnership, someone to spend a life with. I was flattered, excited and stupid. She came to England and I gave her a fairytale wedding. The rot set in after that. She criticised the wedding, the guests, the presents, everything from here on was subject to comparison with Russia - how good Russia was, how different to England, so a voice in the back of my head said the obvious which I will refrain from expressing here. Time passed and comparisons which are inevitable of course continued. Whatever she disapproved of about England seemed to be entirely my fault. I was in her mind a very influential person who determined British cultural and social behaviour, from NHS problems to politics. She grew to hate me over our first year together. I was accused of doing nothing for her or her family, (why doesn’t your mother give half of her pension to my mother in Russia?). I was accused of infidelity if I spoke to another woman, and her inability to improve her English was my fault because I have Midlands accent- nothing to do with the fact she spent 16 hours a day on Skype talking in Russian to her Russian friends. Her English was very basic and was only barely enough to get her a spouse visa and British Citizenship but she achieved that level then learned no more. When fuelled with a little alcohol, all kinds of nastiness came out of her mouth. I once endured a ranting session of hers for 14 hours, and that is no exaggeration. Ranting comprised of her repeated questions, statements, accusations, over and over, not allowing any time to reply or respond without hurling another question about something completely different. She was incapable of listening to any answers, so I sat and watched and listened for 14 hours as she blew her top. I filed for divorce the next day. We underwent a period of relative calm thereafter and I cancelled the divorce process at the 11th hour. After all, this was my choice as much as hers. I wanted to make a go of it, to have a partner to spend the rest of my days with, someone to share everything with. Retirement was only a year or two away and I wanted to enjoy it. Each day became filled with criticisms of me and more verbal attacks. I could see her hatred for me in her eyes when she went into each daily rant. Laughter and humour were nonexistent. There were many “straws that broke the camel’s back” and I would walk out to allow cooling off time. Every morning would start with some angry complaint about something and it was her anger over trivial things that I could not cope with, whether I left a few drops of water in the kitchen sink, having not wiped it completely dry, or reading a book over breakfast, what a crime. My life became a misery, waiting in anticipation of another outburst of anger over something I had done, said, not done or not said. So now we are separated and the divorce is progressing. I am back in the Midlands while she remains in the south, looking for work, getting no benefits, after I paid 6months rent for her in advance to give her some chance to get a life in England. She phones to rant and rave over something or to demand things of me many times a day and I cannot block her off the phone. Demands, orders. I would be foolish to say that please, thank you, sorry are not part of the Russian language because they are, they are just three words my wife has always had problems using.
So having read this, can you relate to any of this? Will it make you more wary? I won’t influence you or change your mind because you will be as flattered as I was that a young woman shows you more attention than you have ever had in your life. And there will be good times, and you will feel like a king. Let time take its course and spend a few years together before committing your all to this way of life. Read all the signs because in my case, many were hidden or disguised for some time. Plus, I was too romantically hopeful and not practical.
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