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SupertoastGT
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 06-06-2014 Location: Kennewick, Washington
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posted on 06-06-2014 at 02:15 |
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Hopelessly stuck male virgin at 29.
I havn't been in a relationship, havn't been touched, havn't even had my first kiss.
I was born blind in one eye, and as a result, I can't get a driver's licence. No one is hiring around here, so I am stuck living with my parents. On top of that, I look like I am 16-17 years old, and have a big shyness/anxiety issue. I have been on a few online dating sites for a while, and even went to craigslist for a casual hookup ad. Nothing but bots.
I can't stop thinking about it, and I can't just accept it and move on with the "if it happens, it happens" attitude that others have. I try but I just can't anymore. It's getting to the point where I want a painless end. Like waahat's the point in going on solo for the rest of my life. It's funny how everyone thinks it can be solved so easilly by just going to a bar and magically hooking up. Maybe that works if you have your own place, or you are a chick. XD I'v been feeling more and more crappy over the years, and now I'm just feeling hopeless and occasionally suicidal. Does anyone have some crazy miracle magic trick for this situation? Thanks in advance. :D
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SinglesAdvice
Senior Member
Posts: 1
Registered: 06-06-2014 Location: California
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posted on 06-06-2014 at 20:48 |
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Dear Hopelessly Stuck
I understand the pain from your current situation. Please don't hurt yourself! There are a lot of people who will love you once you start building up your confidence and stop being so hard on your heart. As a Love Designer, I have worked with many bachelors who were virgins into their 40’s and 50’s. You are not alone, you just haven’t had any good role models. You are still young and just need some guidance! Your shyness and anxiety comes from your lack of experience and that is something you can easily overcome. Go easy on yourself. I work with people internationally to help people with their confidence, body language, shyness and their image in person and online You can listen to a true story from a man in Algeria that I helped who was in your exact situation. He is now happily married! Hang in there!
About a job, I don’t know anything about your education and skills ,but once you open your network in your community you can find positions that will hire you if you know how to sell your skills. You just need guidance and inspiration from other people and organizations with people who have similar vision impairments. Check out: http://www.lowvisionbureau.com/index.html
There are also plenty of positions that allow you to work from home so you can save some money to be able to move out easily with a roommate. Then you can create your own space to help build your confidence. This confidence and stability in your life will attract girls who do want to date you. There are online forums that have messages from other people in similar situations who may be a support system to you – who knows you may even find a match.
There is no quick magic fix. You need to get ahold of what your strengths are and be grateful for your life. You need role models and guidance to get you out of your funk. There are unlimited possibilities – but in your mind it is hard to imagine them at this moment. There are plenty of successful people who have vision impairments and not only have a successful career, but also have a loving family. Celebrity icon Johnny Depp in fact is almost legally blind in one eye and is making it work in a hectic Hollywood life. You can as well (http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/johnny-depp-reveals-blind-eye-article-1.1377374)
I’m not sure where you live, but meetup.com is the best way to meet other people. There are meet-ups for people who are visually impaired and if you can’t find one you like, then it would be amazing experience to start your own meet up and connect with some cool people. You can be a community leader and make your own magic.
You can call me for a free 20 minute consultation to see how I can help you on your quest for love.
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ken
Senior Member
Posts: 142
Registered: 10-16-2002 Location:
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posted on 06-24-2014 at 12:48 |
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Dear Hopelessly Stuck
Dear Hopeless,
First get out from behind the computer, no facebook, no youtube, no video games, all these things have a very negative effect on people. Recent studies have shown that facebook using increases depression.
Next thing you need to get out of the house, get a job or volunteer some where. You need to get out and socialize, meet real people and interact. A job will help build your self esteem and help you finically. The statement that people are not hiring is BS, companies are always hiring. Every day go out and ask every place you can. Take any job they offer you, I can tell you as an employer with more than 100 employees, companies are always looking for good people. the key is putting 110% in to your work. Always make your self the best employee there is. So many people now put the minimum effort in. If you take the lowest job a place has and do a great job, bosses see this and appreciate it and opportunities open up. Opportunities do not open for the lazy and complainers, be a team player, even of your co-workers are not, do not let them bring you down to their level. Do volunteer work, help others. Even if you don't drive there are buses, car pools, bicycles and walking. More than 90% of the people in the world do not have cars.
Join a gym and work out, play some sports, go hiking, exercising. Working out will help you both fiscally and mentally. Plus being in shape is always good for attracting women.
One of the best peace of advice I every heard was, "If what you are doing is not working, tomorrow when you get up do some thing different. very simple Idea, but can change your life dramatically.
If you do the above you will start meeting people, build social skills, greatly increase your confidence and start enjoying life. Then love and sex will come naturally.
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